Jane Barrager

When choosing the image I wanted to use for this assignment, I wanted something that gave off a “cozy vibe.” I’m also a huge fan of the color green, so choosing this image was a no-brainer. When I look at this image, it looks inviting and feels like the living space that I’d like to come home to after a long day. It looks like the closest representation to what my “mind palace” would look like if it existed, well, outside of the confines of my mind.

A living space where I could throw my bag in a corner, slip into my cow slippers, and just… exist. One where I wouldn’t have to be productive or exert any extra energy, I would simply be allowed to exist. Too often, productivity is used as a way to assign worth to an individual, to the point where that productivity becomes toxic. We measure our worth and overall value based on what we can pump out and give to the world, choosing to serve everyone and anyone before we focus on ourselves.

When I think of cozy or just existing, I like listening to city pop. It’s a genre that’s not too busy and just serves as a backdrop for me to enjoy while I continue to romanticize my life and simply exist. Where I can retreat away when life becomes difficult and overwhelming, when I simply just need to be Jo. Not Jo is defined by what I offer to others and pump out, but just Jo.

CC BY 4.0 DEED

Did Robert Browning murder his beloved wife Elizabeth? Some few English scholars believe this to be the case. They argue that, over time, he increased her dosage of laudanum, and, eventually, this overpowered her already-compromised body. If true, as Carmen’s ironic aria Habanera proved her undoing, so too, did Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s great love.

“Love is a gypsy’s child,
it has never, ever, known a law;”

So sings Carmen, the eponymous and infamous femme fatale of George Bizet’s opera, about the uncontrollable quality of love. Bizet had his character sing this song with dramatic irony, as this action sets in motion the events of love, jealousy, and passion that will result in Carmen’s demise. If the above claim about Robert Browning is true, then the photographed painting of the idealized relationship of Barrett and Browning presented with Carmen’s aria may be interpreted as challenging the public’s unrelenting insistence that the Browning-Barrett relationship was ideal, even epic. Instead of the stereotyped femme fatale bringing about the death of her lover, casting herself in the role of the beloved, she brings about the death of herself, the femme.

“Iceland Landscape” by Lenny K Photography is licensed under CC by 2.0

“Garbage Truck [distant perspective] 1m40s” by rimidaL is licensed under CC0 1.0 Deed

I did a little bit of traveling a few years back and one of the places I visited was Iceland. One of the things that was so incredible to see aside from the many spectacular views was how clean everything was kept. Not one piece of trash could be found anywhere! I don’t even remember there being any litter in the cities.

I present a site at a waterfall that I got to see and contradict its beauty with the representation of what you wouldn’t expect to experience at such a place. For me, this both enhances and changes its meaning when combined together, by pointing out how the landscaped has managed to be untouched, and pulling me away from the actual expected experience.

It was a normal October day. I looked out the window of a 2nd grade classroom in Spokane, Washington, watching the kids out a recess. It was like a blizzard came out of nowhere. I was a student teacher and driving in the snow still made me nervous, even though I had gotten used to it in Iowa where I went to college. I asked my cooperating teacher if school was going to be let off early because of the snow. She said no, the snow probably won’t stick. But it did.

By the end of the school day, the parking lot was covered with inches of snow. I had a 30-minute drive back to my apartment, that include a long highway, rural roads, and the real possibility of deer running into the road. Somehow, I made it to my apartment safely.

By the time I got to my apartment, I was cold, tired, stressed and very hungry. As the blizzard continued outside, I preheated my oven to prepare to cook a homemade pizza. As the pizza was cooking, I put on my PJs and selected a cozy movie to watch. By the time the pizza was done the blizzard was still going outside.

This picture by Christine Wisnieski shows the comfort of being safe at home with good food, while the sound from daveincamas represents the chaos of nature outside. When driving back home from student teaching in the increasing snow, the thought of being safe in my apartment was my goal. Pizza and movie were the much-deserved reward.

I didn’t have any particular idea in mind when I began this assignment, but I guess the holidays were still on my mind. I saw a different Christmas-related photo originally, and it got me thinking—what if I could flip the cheery, warm feeling of the holidays around and invoke something ominous? So I set out to find the perfect image that I felt could play both sides of that coin. (I will say, I had a very hard time finding a nice aesthetic Christmas photo under an appropriate Creative Commons license. A lot of them were kind of weird, honestly.)

I was thrilled when I found this photo/audio combination. For one thing, despite how beautiful the the photo is, its title read sort of ominous to me already: The Living Room. The contrast of bright white against the windows also adds a layer of spook, with the reflected lights almost looking like glowing eyes in the deep darkness. Then I came across the audio clip—simply using the search term “ominous”—and knew this had to be the one. I love that it still has some whimsy and even channels Christmas a bit with the inclusion of the pipe organ.

I hope I was able to highlight the spooky stillness of Christmas Eve night for you!

“I am my own ghost, haunting the memories I love the most.”

Author Unknown

For this entry, I didn’t want to just choose a random photo simply because it was pretty… Thus, I ended up searching for hours to find the “perfect” image. In the beginning, nothing was screaming “THIS IS IT,” even after I searched a combination of items and terms, trying to use my hobbies and interests to find a photo that I connected with. Then I stumbled upon this one.

At first, my mind went to “How creepy would this be at night?” which morphed into “What if in the middle of nowhere you started hearing the clang of church bells?” I thought the two together would create a perfectly sinister setting. I even ran with the idea of For Whom the Bell Tolls for an undisclosed amount of time before the realization hit…

In January 2021, my father unexpectedly passed away; a hole was created, and it lingered. However, I was a new mom and never allowed myself to fully grieve… I felt I had to stay strong for my infant daughter, my mother, and my siblings – even as the “baby” of the family. We are now in 2024, three years later, and I still don’t think I’ve properly grieved.

…What originally drew me to the picture and the audio clip was mere intrigue and curiosity, and a knack for storytelling…

I see now that the two elements have combined to create the place I know I must face eventually. I know it’s a journey I must complete, but that doesn’t make it any less frightening. This is the place of grief – where I must process it as it comes and survive the night to find the day.

Rainbow Island by CEBImagery is a licensed under
Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International (CC BY-NC 4.0 DEED)

Thunder Strikes, Lightning Storm, Claps_1 by PNMCarrieRailfan is licensed under
Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International (CC BY-NC 4.0 DEED)

When times are rough it cam be difficult to focus on the the light at the end of the tunnel. 2021 and 2022 were extremely tough years for me and my family. We were faced with a tremendous amount of loss and sadness that took time to heal. Flash forward two years and I am now starting to heal and understand that the universe had a plans for us. Although I was unable to understand why things were occurring in my life at that time, I had no idea there was something so beautiful wanting for me on the other side.

Reflecting back I like to think of it as a rainbow after a very heavy thunderstorm.

The sound above Thunder Strikes, Lightning Storm, Claps_1 by PNMCarrieRailfan showcases the pain and rough time I had to make it through to get to the other side with all the blessings. On the contrary Rainbow Island by CEBImagery is a great of example of the abundance of blessings that the past two years have brought me. Its the beautiful sight and after a heavy storm that was endured.

“Night rain” by “#Sacho#” is licensed under
Attribution-NonCommercial 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC 2.0)

“There is Romance” by “Kevin MacLeod” is licensed under
Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0)

What’s the most romantic moment you’ve ever experienced? For me, it’s not that sunny afternoon embracing with my boyfriend, or that winter day with snowflakes enjoying the snow. It is the night when it is raining heavily, but there is still someone waiting in the rain for you to go home together.

This music There is Romance by Kevin MacLeod and the image Night rain by #Sacho# takes me back to that night. I was tired after work, but it was surprising to see my boyfriend waiting for me to go home in the rain at the station without an umbrella. After getting off the bus, we held hands and walked home in the pouring rain. The rain was no longer just a sign of gloom, but a rhythm to which love moved.

The gloomy picture appears to be of a man standing alone and melancholy by the railroad station on a rainy day. However, this gentle and elegant music expressing the lasting love, transforms the rain from a dreary setting into a stage for a heartfelt rendezvous. The man in the rain, once just a solitary figure, now stands as a testament to commitment and care. As the notes flow, they weave the rain, the waiting, and the eventual companionship into a tapestry of romantic devotion. This is the true romance!

_{Volatile Reaction by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/}

_{person holding baseball bat waiting for pitch was taken by rigo erives, and is free to use under the Unsplash licensing agreement.}

In baseball, every batter gets to choose what piece of music is played over the ballpark’s loudspeakers as he walks out from the dug out up to home plate to begin his at-bats, aka his ‘walk-up song’. Sometimes, this music is deeply personal and inspiring; other times, it’s just a fun song to get him hyped up. Preseason games (Spring Training) will start about a month from now, and that made me think of a young rookie who’s worked really hard through the minors (triple A and double A, and a few leagues even smaller than that), and is finally, finally getting to work on his at-bats in actual batting cages before stepping out in front of the roaring crowds for his first game in the big leagues. Would this be something he would listen to, during that anxiety-inducing but ultimately dream-fulfilling time? Yes, there are 161 games after that, plus the post season, but he probably knows more than most people how crucial first impressions can be.